“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” – Bob Moawad

I am sure by now most of you know what I am banging on about, if not you can read about the start of this journey here.  I realise how much I waffle on about how much I am loving doing 40 new things in 40 days so I am not going to do it today, instead I hope you enjoy the post. And don’t worry there will be more ramblings tomorrow.

Day 33 

I decided that maybe it was time to start thinking about dating, not a relationship but maybe a date or two, I am still missing Alex a lot mainly because we are still in some contact but maybe a date or two will make me realise something, so not feeling completely ready I decided to book a speed dating session. It was still a few weeks away so it would give me a little more time to heal. Right now I am not looking for the love of my life although I am not ruling it out either, having someone to hang out with would be fun. Although I realise this makes me selfish and slightly careless but do not worry I have zero problems communicating and this will be my first conversation with any potential dates.  I am a firm believer in having any kind of relationship you want but you have to let the other person know exactly where they stand, they have to agree to because otherwise, you are messing with someone’s heart.

Day 34

Ok so things moved a lot quicker than I thought they would and somehow the very next night after booking speed dating I ended up on an actual date, honestly I don’t know how I end up in these scenarios. The date actually went really well, this was the first date since me and Alex ended so it was super emotional for me, don’t worry I played it cool during the date. I did better than I thought so maybe I was more ready than I thought I was. Unfortunately, he was not for me and that is ok that is the whole point of dating, right. And after all, I am not in any hurry to be in a relationship again. For the first time in my life, I am more interested in looking after myself than worrying about boys or other people. So I am not looking to find anything special this summer but I am looking forward to lots of dates and discovering what I really need and want.

Day 35

So after an exhausting evening, followed by a long work day I just wanted to forget about this challenge and go to bed. But instead, I decided to go for a run, now it has been a good couple of years since I have done any real cardio but I thought the fresh air and exercise would snap me out of my funny mood. I have somehow convinced myself that with my new job I do not have time to exercise which is total bullshit but easy to listen to. And after pushing myself I managed to run consistently for 6 miles which I think is actually the furthest I have run, ever in one go. I was super proud and actually felt amazing after some exercise, it has also shown me that actually, I have more than enough time to workout, even if it is only a run. This just shows you that sometimes you have to push yourself even when you are tired, by doing so you might just surprise yourself, I know I did.

Day 36

My babe made another appearance on the list, she is so super committed to getting me living in Manchester that we went on an adventure to find a new area of Manchester. On day 36 we went and discovered Chorlton, we ate food, drank coke and I flirted a lot. This woman is truly a shining star in my world, I have never met such a beautiful soul in all my life and I am so lucky to call her a friend. While on day 36 we stopped at a red light where I noticed to my left a very handsome guy working in a local shop, unfortunately, the light turned green and I drove away. However feeling more confident than I have ever done in my whole life, I decided to give the shop a call and give the guy my number. He remembered me as the girl at the traffic lights and took my number, he never text or rang but I was so happy that I did it, not only for my confidence but because being hurt has not made me change my mind about love nor has it closed me off to the idea of it. Since starting this challenge my Friday nights have been perfect and spent with loving friends, I am feeling loved in a way I never have done before.

I have just realised how man based these few days were, totally not what I need right now, and this has to stop right now! Self love only!