When is the last time you’ve done a check up on your strong friends? You know, just simply asked them how they’re doing? Depression is a real thing that affects so many people on a daily basis. Most of the time (I’m not saying all of the time) the ones who appear the strongest, suffer the hardest because they try to hold everyone up amongst falling down themselves. Depression is a crippling mental illness. Life events and triggers can send someone spiralling into a very dark place quickly.

This is one that is so personal to me, we have no idea how much each other are hurting. To me, I am the happiest person I know but there have been times in my life when I have seriously considered suicide as my only option. There have been moments in my life where I have been sat on my floor screaming and crying wanting to kill myself. I have felt so lonely and lost that it seemed like the only option available to me. The voice inside my head took over and tried to convince me I was not enough, that the world would be better off without me. I have been lucky I have sought help and been able to pull myself out of those dark times but it’s hard it takes all your will to convince yourself that the negative thoughts are not real, that you are worthy and that you will be missed.

I do not have mental health issues these thoughts have purely come from hard times in my life. I have also found a best friend bleeding out after a suicide attempt. I have had friends who have committed suicide; I don’t see suicide, mental health or negative feelings as dirty words. These are not topics to be ssshed or only spoken about alone in doctors’ offices. These are words that need to be shouted out across the skies. No one in this world should be made to feel bad or made to feel alone, no one!

Mental health issues, depression, suicide affects everyone and in the same way cancer does it doesn’t care how popular you are, what job you have or how beautiful you are. Once it has you in its grips it isn’t letting go without a fight. No one can really know what is going on in the mind of someone that is depressed. Some just snap out of it easily, especially if the depression is linked to a short-term situation. Others are chronically depressed. It can come and go. Some are thinking of ending their lives while others stay worried that they may lose those around them or feel as if something bad is going to happen to them personally. It’s a struggle either way and not easily understood if you haven’t dealt with depression yourself.

We often think people are selfish when they try suicide. Or think they are just looking for attention. Try to see it differently. In their minds, to leave life would mean their loved ones would be better off. (Sounds crazy right but that is how they feel). If someone is trying suicide for attention, they are really reaching out for help. Also hard to understand. Remember the mind of someone with depression is a very delicate and frail state. Try not to judge. It’s harder for them to go through this than it is for you to understand.

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” Robin Williams

If you can’t talk to family members or friends please know there is always someone out there listening.

Samaritans – for everyone

Call 116 123

Email jo@samaritans.org

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men

Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day

Visit the webchat page

Papyrus – for people under 35

Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm

Text 07786 209697

Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

Childline – for children and young people under 19

Call 0800 1111 – the number won’t show up on your phone bill

The Silver Line – for older people

Call 0800 4 70 80 90